Sunday, August 17, 2008

Some New Rules


New Rule: Stop saying Heath Ledger's death is only reason the world is raving about his performance as the Joker. He wasn't dead when he put on the purple coat and turned a nearly 70 year old comic book prankster into one of the most iconic villains of the 21st century. His death is not what made him great, it was his life, cut short in a horrific way, and the only time I thought about that awful January day while I was absorbed in The Dark Knight i when I realized he won't be around to reprise his role in the next movie, and pity the poor schmuck who has to step into those checkered socks.

New Rule: Stop flooding the internet with orgasmic pictures of married men designed to incite lust. It's distracting me from the walk with Christ, and millions more from their homework, jobs and spouses.

New Rule: Don't call me a bandwagon hopper when I tell you I'm boycotting the Beijing Olympics. The real sheep here are the ones who shrug off China's human rights violations and the fact that the Olympics are keeping them from spending their money and time on things that really matter.

New Rule: Stop releasing new bulletins every second day saying in slightly different wording that Mats Sundin hasn't told us what he's going to do yet. Either give me NEWS or NO NEWS, the way he does it.

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