Thursday, May 1, 2008

Classic Christian Contradictions

  • The Christian Right teaches that God has a divine plan, and that nothing happens outside of His will, and if something bad happens, we are to accept it as God's will, yet they constantly tell their followers to pray every time they want something, and constantly quote the Bible as saying "Ask and ye shall receive". So which one is it? Divine plan or a favour-giving God who answers every "I want a new car" and "I want bigger tits" prayer? NEITHER!
  • They teach that God is all loving and forgiving and merciful (which I believe), but if you don't follow ONE straight and narrow path in a world that is anything but straight and narrow he'll send you a fiery pit for all eternity where you will burn and be eaten by words.
  • They teach that God has everything under control, and the Gospel has nothing particularly flattering to say about money, yet evangelists like to tell their followers that God is asking them for money.
  • If God has everything under control and has  a plan for everyone, why does he need your help to save people's souls from Hell because they never heard the Gospel through no fault of their own?
  • If human beings are all evil, and bad worthless dirt, why are you trying so hard to save every single one conceived (which I'm for, of course, but it still makes no sense)? Wouldn't it be better to let the worthless, born-in-sin babies go straight back to Jesus?
  • If the Bible is error free, perfect, and totally inspired by God, why does it sound like God suffers from multiple personality disorder and a male form of PMS?
  • If Jesus were around today, many Republicans would hate him, yet the GOP is hot for Jesus while the Dems are hot for abortion.
  • If killing is a sin, why do so many idiotic evangelicals believe Bush when he says God TOLD him to invade Iraq?

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